Although my gender fluidity is important part of my identity, it takes a back seat when I am collaborating with music ensembles. My focus is on the music and the fantastic experience the music provides the singers and the audience.
However, I understand that it can be awkward asking a visiting composer which pronouns they prefer. I get it! I prefer the pronouns I have had my entire life, and they are “he” and “him”.
With that said, I must share a few additional thoughts.
I am not in any way offended if a person mistakenly uses she/her or they/them.
Also, I am very comfortable, if the discussion about gender identity is part of the workshop or the commission, discussing my story.